The other night Jake and I attended a looong awards banquet (where he was recognized for earning 2 of the 10 nursing scholarships! SO PROUD!) and I found myself cleaning out my phone and looking at old text messages (yes, very bad manners, but it was so looong!). There are so many texts that I just can't erase and reread them about once every 6 months.
Well, I found this one...from exactly one year ago today. It simultaneously made me very happy and incredibly sad.
One year ago, mom snapped this photo to share the joy of their new return to normalcy. My baby girls snuggled close to their Junko to hear Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. All of us feeling confident that our year of horror was over and the best was yet to come.
What a precious NORMAL moment. What a precious FLEETING moment. IF we knew then what we know now...
As I write this, I see my selfishness. The year of horror was over for those that love my dad, but he was still living in intense discomfort with more limitations than he would ever have agreed to. However, he had survived and we had him physically present. We had much to be thankful for and much to hope for.
While I would have done anything to change the outcome, I know now what my dad knew during his last week of life...that his year of horror was finally ending and the best was truly coming for him.
I yearn for that level of faith and acceptance of my own death when the time is near.