DABDA. As a Psychology major, the order of those stages are permanently etched into my memory. Denial- Anger- Bargaining- Depression- Acceptance.
I realized that though I've lost loved ones before, I've never been in the clutches of grief before. While I realize I'm floating perilously close to depression, I know this is temporary. Eventually a new normal will replace the tangible void in my life. For now, his presence is so close, so real... I want to turn back time... to two years ago before illness after illness began to attack my beloved father.
Death is temporary, but right now it feels so final. May we all be so lucky to have the faith, acceptance, strength, grace & peace that my father exhibited throughout his long battle. All my life I've wanted to be just like him and now more than ever I will strive to embody the lessons he taught me.
Here is his obituary which was lovingly written by my mother.
Here is a wonderful blog post written by my cousin, Kathe, who has spent most of every summer of her life with us (well, near us at their summer home). This is a beautifully written post that touched me deeply.
Many friends are sharing their memories on my facebook wall and I read and re-read them. My friend Cyn just wrote her own reflection which I will cherish...and roll my eyes.
Thank you all for sharing this journey with me! Feel free to continue to send me your memories of my dad... I truly appreciate it!