4.12.2012

the best mama you can be

I am fairly certain that other women have more hours in their days.  I suffer from feeling inadequate because:  I throw dry cereal at my kids for breakfast...and let them eat it while they watch cartoons; my counter is always full of crap that didn't get put away; my buffet is not seasonally decorated; in fact, most of my house is not decorated; I don't have fresh homemade bread for my family 2xs a week; I don't read all the blogs I should; I don't participate in most of the blogland things that I should (ie linky parties); I don't write heart felt emails to my loved ones; I don't call old friends to tell them I miss them; I don't read all the top sellers; I don't engage my kids in gorgeous crafts every day; I don't have amazing educational activities for the kids every day; I don't exercise... at all for the past YEAR; I don't have enough money in the bank; I don't spend enough money on new clothes, jewelry, accessories; I haven't found a way to earn money through writing; I don't spend enough time working on building a new career; I don't help my husband in his greenhouse; I rarely help my grandparents clean or cook .....

Ok, I should just stop right there!  It's true, I feel GUILTY and LAZY all the time because of the above and many more reasons.  Every day during my online time, I find new websites that I SHOULD ALREADY KNOW ABOUT AND READ DAILY.  Forget the fact that I haven't finished my Bible Study for tonight's meeting or my book for Saturday's book club.  Forget the fact that I haven't gone grocery shopping for 2 weeks.  I should I should I should!

Fortunately, my friend Lesley from Rugrat Design (linked on my sidebar) posted THIS article on facebook this morning.  It brought tears to my eyes because the writer clearly reached into my heart and brain and wrote this out specifically for me.

Thank goodness, I still have my own mother to lean on.  My mother who was/is the most amazing mom...  She "mothered" many of my friends, encouraged my interests (though she was a little misguided with all those art lessons), played piano every time I wanted to sing (we're talking devoting weeks/months of her life to my musicals and try-outs), reads my mind all the time (and in case she doesn't simply show up or call when I need it, I can call her 5xs a day and she will drop what she's doing and be gleeful to hear from me.  "mom, how do you boil an egg?"  "mom, Hazel's on her 3rd major tantrum before 10am and I'm about to loose it", etc.  for reals.  Ask her sons-in-law...they think we're all nuts!), loves me unconditionally (though my sister and I roll our eyes when she just wants to sit and stare/smile at us) and yet she doesn't have seasonally decorated mantels, a tidy kitchen counter (hehe), uses pre-made cookie dough mixes to fulfill her Grandma duties, and really only reads family blogs...  I'm gonna strive to be more like her and not worry about measuring up to any standards I think other moms hit!

My grandmother, me holding Heidi, Farmer Jake holding Hazel, my mom and my dad on Easter morning.


Ah, who else needs this reality check today?  Pinterest is inspiring, websites are educational, goals are ok... but we mamas need to remember that the most important priorities are giving frequent cuddles and laughter... bar none!

19 comments:

  1. You meet my standards.
    aaannd I got an easy bread post coming up.

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    1. (clearly this guy's standards are LOW.)

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  2. Thanks for sharing this link Julie-Great article! It definitely hit home for me. Your blog is always so refreshing (I probably say that every time I leave a comment, but it's so true).

    xoxo
    Linds

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    1. Ha! I don't think so, but I'd be thrilled to hear that as often as possible :)

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  3. The article hit me yesterday as well- and reduced me to tears and a sentimental email to my mom thanking her for teaching me it's ok to not has a perfect house and perfect decor and all that matters is te kids are loved (and the hubs too!). You are an amazing woman- wife-mom- friend- and more!! Too bad there isn't a pin for that on pinterest!!

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  4. ‎The president of my church's women's organization recently said this: "Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying.These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all."

    I think she hit the nail on the head.

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  5. I think women comparing "to-do" lists and pinterest successes is like men seeing who has a bigger...ummm... man part.

    Bigger isn't always better. What's the old adage? It's not the size that counts but how you use it?

    A good mother doesn't look at how many beautiful things she has created with her child, she looks at how much FUN everyone had while doing it, and calls that success :)

    Use Pinterest as a resource for what to do with some leftover craft supplies on a rainy afternoon. Use it to dream and think "what if?" Use it to save ideas that you may or may not use. It's an "idea board", that's all. Not a report card on who we are as mothers.

    Love you Jules. Don't let the Pinterest guilt win! :)

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    1. thanks Cyn! Yes, a resource, not a report card! Good way to frame it :)

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  6. I just read that article last night, as a friend had posted it! As soon as I saw the title of your blog I knew it was that article... awesome. LOVE the family picture. I'm saving it!

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  7. Nice post. Now, I better go read that article. No time for this mamma to do such things lately. . . as you've probably noticed from my (lack of) blog.

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  8. OK. Now that I read that article, my mascara's running. Hit me HARD.
    Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it... but uh... you DEF have more hours in your days than the rest of us ;)

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  9. 1. You are a most wonderful, kind, funny, loving Mommy. Your girls are joys, partly because you care for them so well. They love books, hikes, eating, singing, Sunday School, friends and animals. You never need to apologize ....EVER.
    2. So, what's wrong with premade cookies with a 2 1/2 year old :)))) I was thinking she could handle that better than a Martha Stewart recipe. I guess I'll wait until she's 3 before I try those.
    3. Now the whole world knows that my counters are messy. I know. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be more organized. But I'm not sure I know how.
    4. Smiling at you: AS IF you already don't do that with H. and H. Or take a gazillion digital pictures of them (which is sort of the same thing). Believe it or not, I love you both...all....
    5. I think this technology proves to be a blessing and a curse. True it is amazing to see how creative people are in this world. But to apply those expectations to us...well, it's impossible, discouraging, self defeating. Take the ideas for what they're worth. But that's all. I liked C.'s analogy too.
    5. Thanks for the blog. It resonates with Mothers everywhere. Oprah always said that being a Mother is the hardest job in the world. You're doing great. Keep on keeping on.

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    1. Oh no! You're RIGHT... I do do that with Hazel and Heidi! I didn't realize what a sentimental shmuck I am... guess that's what makes a great mama after all!

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    2. (you just said do do.) (can you tell i'm procrastinating?)

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  10. And, THESE (from my favorite author who will be in town next week):

    “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”

    “Perfection is shallow, unreal, and fatally uninteresting.”

    ― Anne Lamott

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  11. I love this post. It;s funny because I see how crafty you are, and how you seem to eat healthy, cook nightly and have the time to redecorate your house and I think the same thing about you.

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    1. WHAT? That is the danger of blogging! I/we highlight our successes, our goals, our brilliance while hiding our frustrations, days of vegging, etc. Thanks Carly!

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