Dear me

I'm tempted to Title this post "Dead girl walking".  Not because I'm dead, but because I do often feel like the walking dead!  If I met the me of 5 years ago, I would've given/ received a HUGE lecture.  You see 5 years ago, when not working 1.2 jobs (a full-time job as a School Counselor and very part-time job as a Crisis Counselor), I was sitting ON MY BUM!

At the time, I was very wise and would often tell myself, within the next few years I'm gonna have kids, so I'd better rest NOW.  And rest I DID!  I stayed in bed late, only to get up to land on the couch and catch-up on internet tv... finish in time to join my night-shift husband for dinner... and then play on the internet all evening.

If I knew then what I knew now... it wasn't just a time to rest, I could've been SO PRODUCTIVE!  With kids, productive is making the time to eat 3 meals myself... and that happens rarely.  With kids, rest is squeezing out my own internet time at 6:30 am while cartoons entertain the toddler and the baby climbs across the keyboard (I typically have to write posts/emails 2-3 times before I can send it off without her "help").

I'm glad I vegged and rested, I might hate that version of me if I met me today, but I enjoyed it and relished it.  However, I sigh when I think of all the awesome crafts I could've made.  I sigh when I think of all the writing-for-hire I could've done.  And I cry when I realize that I could've written my book.

Instead, I will continue to try to whittle an hour here, an hour there for myself...   Damn I'm tired!


  1. i agree, oh how I long to sleep in, or be able to stay out late, and not worry about my baby at home.

  2. I keep singing the ohlala song from the kinks! Its a fitting tune for this post (google it;). I don't know how you moms do all that you do! I can barely accomplish what I want to accomplish in a day and I only have a dog (who sleeps most of the day) to entertain! I think there are things we all wish we had known when we we were 18 or 20 somethings.... i'm sure we'll think the same thing when we are in our 40s and so on.


Oh how I L.O.V.E. comments! Thanks for taking a walk on the (koskersidle)WILD side :)