1.24.2011

decision made

I feel so lucky to have had the chance to "try on" working full-time and part-time.  I worked full-time hours for Nov & Dec and now part-time hours for Jan & Feb.  I've swung back and forth on my decisions and learned that if I want support for working full/part/no-time outside of the home, I need only ask other mothers doing that very thing.  We each make our decision and it is the best decision for us... and so there you have it... perfectly logical, convincing arguments in support of every choice.

Jake and I have talked about this a lot and have decided that I will stop working outside of the home (after February...er... I will stop tutoring after May).  This decision comes with some regrets on my part, but a lot of relief too.  So, we'll be a one car, penny pinching family for the next few years.  I tend to suffer from pitying myself when seeing other people's material goods.  However, when my perspective is right (as it is right now after a full day of working outside the home), I see that the "sacrifices" are NOTHING!  I'll renovate the house in 10 years (or not), I'll buy fashionable clothes in 10 years (or not) and I'll soak up every minute of my daughterS young lives.  I'll go on nature walks with them, give music lessons, read books, cook meals, clean the house/do laundry NOT on weekends, I'll schedule my day around naps (not naps around my day), I'll be (a little more) sane... and so will the other 3 people in this house.

In preparation for a really busy week, I found comfort in one of the hymns I sang in church on Sunday:

"You need my hands, my exhaustion,
working love for the rest of the weary,
A love that's willing to go on loving."

by Cesar Gabarain

So for this week, I will use my hands and love to serve students as their counselor and tutor.  It is a privilege to serve them, just as it will be a privilege to serve my family in the near future... because right now they are only getting my exhaustion with a sprinkling of love.

3 comments:

  1. That hymn speaks to me too every time we sing it.

    Love you!

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  2. Good for you Julie! :) .. and what an amazing gift it was for you to be able to test out all different types of the working field - FT/PT and Full Time Mom/Wife/House Lady! Your perspective on life and what it holds is great! :)Your little girls are gonna turn out to be great women :)

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  3. Wonderfully articulated

    Love you. :)

    ReplyDelete

Oh how I L.O.V.E. comments! Thanks for taking a walk on the (koskersidle)WILD side :)