This is my forum for being a sappy contemplative mom... just a warning :)
This morning Hazel and I were playing our usual early morning game: I lie on the floor of the living room, throw balls and soft blocks around while Hazel crawls over and around me. It's a nice way to wake up. Hazel is now drinking milk (other people call this breast feeding, but in the off chance that Hazel is an early talker, I don't want one of her first words being "breast") 2-3 times a day. The only time she really needs it is early morning. At 5 am, she wants a little milk and then wants to sleep for another 2 hours. The mid afternoon snack is nice especially if she is upset, but we often skip it. The before bed feeding is also nice as a way to wind down and cuddle, but she doesn't require it. I'm glad of that because that means other people can put her to bed. Sometime soon I'll experiment with not giving her the early morning feeding. Then I might get a whole night to MYSELF! I could even go away for a day... be ALONE!?!?! However, I L.O.V.E breastfeeding. It's so calming, cuddly and comforting to both Hazel and I. When we finally give it up, I anticipate a period of mourning. I know that Hazel and I will still have cuddle time, but it won't be the same. not as intimate. not as peaceful. not giving her life.
On the other hand, I've also been thinking a lot about other children in the world. I have so much love to give and I know there are so many children out there not getting the love and care they need to thrive. Sometimes when I look at Hazel, I can't believe that anyone could ever hurt or neglect a baby. They are gorgeous, full of life and promise, completely accepting, fascinating. Then the next minute, I can't believe that more babies aren't hurt or neglected because caring for a baby is SO MUCH WORK! Avert your gaze for 2 milliseconds and they've discovered something potentially hazardous in your uber childproof house. Miss a full nights rest and they don't give you the quiet-time or space you so desperately need.
Today I'm going to spend some time thinking about babies... and figure out how I can best help those who can't help themselves. As a school counselor, I have the opportunity to be a part of every kids' life. I like that. It's not only the kids referred to a counselor that I get to see... I get to see all kids. But is that using my gifts in the best way? Is that my passion? Is that career best for my family?